“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead”.
Nelson Mandela
«Self-importance. Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget, that if there were not any need for you in all uniqueness to be on this Earth, you would not be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelmed life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be That One Person»
Dalai Lama
Conflict Resolving – Counter Tactics are directly connected by inner sense and importance of using in a real life- experience with understanding Life itself, so unique and individually colored for everyone and so common for whole mankind from the position of common sense. What does it mean – Common sense? What does it mean – Good will? Reliability? Honesty? Patience? Intelligence and modesty? All these words are alive compound notions in a strong system of living process construction, oriented and directed to success in life. There are many components explaining the definition of the word by inner sense may be called running: “to succeed in life”. The first item in this definition (by definition again!) is to avoid conflicts in communication in the sphere of studying, working, service on the way to family, career, success in all spheres chosen personally. So, the first step on the way to preventing conflicts means to know exactly what does success as an aim, goal and blue dream mean indeed? And what “out or inner” means, methods, aims, thoughts, mistakes or bad intentions may destroy it?
It is not a secret that it’s pretty hard to succeed in life, as to draw a conclusion (at the end) that everything had been done in a most rational and useful way. Even more – it must be taken into account that there is no a common interpretation of word “success”, so far as every one of us associates success differently: money, prosperity, excellent career or job, health, harmony, wealth, stability in relationship of any kind. There are some firm, stable and meaningful compounds of the whole structural notion “success”, such as characters, families, material conditions, abilities and talents, personally chosen independence or dependence in life engine ‘operating [1, p. 11].
Due to successful choice of life-position, there are some items extremely important for qualified realization in life. They may be described as: 1. He (She) is a hard worker. 2. He (She) respects those who works for him (for her), who works with him (with her). 3. He (She) is at peace with himself (herself). 4. He (She) is a disciplined person. 5. He (She) is dedicated to his (her) work.
All these positions are responsible for guaranteed comfortable and calm atmosphere at working place and common desire of all those involved in the working process to share it’s results with approval and support each other as reliable participants of their business. Such approach to solving the tasks on preventing conflicts (as the main first item of Conflict Resolving Counter -Tactics) we consider to be the most effective, because on this stage we get information about communicants. We must try to capture intangible qualities such as personality and character, because in such a way we can indicate inner qualities, causing or preventing, or solving conflicts of any kind. We may include concentration on observable qualities, giving details about appearance, disposition, approach not only to work, but to people in common work, to habits, interests, goals and so on [2, p. 20].
While searching for (finding out, working out and carrying out), the methods on a way of conflict’ prevention, we remember some alive advice being dictated by the whole universal life during the ages of its’ existence. Each of them had been explained and described in details by students due to some concrete situations of their real communicative practice. The whole list of these witty phrases being supposed by teachers should be numerated by students from 1 to 12 by meaning’s importance due to their point of view. It was a very interesting experience, indeed. The cadets had to prove their choice by mentioning the real situation from their own life, poems or novels, history, sport or schooling moments of their life, etc. Look at these phrases and make up your own position concerning the aim of preventing conflicts and Conflict Resolving Counter Tactics using:
- There is great beauty in simplicity. That which is simple is close to Truth.
- The less you speak, the more you are listened to.
- The most important virtue needed for self- transformation – is patience.
- Patience teaches us to pace ourselves.
- You are what you think. When you are angry, a great deal of energy is used up and wasted. Use energy wisely.
- When the mind is filled with virtues, they will be revealed in our actions.
- There will always be the opportunity to learn for those who desire it.
- If you realize that everyone is an individual with his own inique part to play, then the power of tolerance is easy to develop. Mistakes are caused by lack of attention, then there is tension.
- If I allow myself to be puffed up by praise and fame, then insult and deformation and defatigation will destroy me.
- Real power and authority is not power and authority over others, but over the self.
- Make effort to uplift yourself, do not degrade yourself, for one’s own self is one’s friend and one’s own self is one’s enemy.
- If you always do your best, you will be free from regrets [3, p. 183].
In order to prevent conflicts and solve them successfully in need, it is important to have thoughts pure. If it is in the communication process, it becomes easy to say what the participants think and do what they say. What is a real success without conflicts? It is the Quality of our thoughts. The very they determine our own personal degree of our own personal abilities to react rightly, possibilities to do the best in order to do good, because complete control over sense organs means true victory over conflicts by means of common sense, good will, witty thinking and open heart.
